I never thought I’d find two transformative books at the age of 35. I thought I was mature, clever, hard-working… an adult. My friend recommended Atomic Habits. Then YouTube served me up David Goggins. These two books stacked on top of one another are pushing me through mid-life metamorphosis.
Atomic Habits is a book that taught me how to follow through. We all have big goals and milestones that we set. Very few of us make it to the destination of a major milestone. Simply put, there are too many obstacles along the way. Too many opportunities to say “I quit”, “this ain’t worth it”, “I tried my best”. Atomic Habits revealed to me why I often stopped short so many times: I believed that if I wasn’t going further each day it was a failure. If I ran 10 miles one day, then couldn’t match or exceed it on my next attempt it became a stumbling block. If I was programming and I just couldn’t figure something out I’d not stick with it. Instead I’d convince myself this coding stuff isn’t for me.
Atomic Habits breaks down the science down to a system anyone can implement. It shows you the signals of habits. I never considered habits to be a 90% of my life. I thought of habits as filler activities that are inconsequential. Truth is we are our habits. Major shift. Our habits are our unconscious behaviors and Atomic Habits showed me how to program my unconscious by revealing singular habits and allowing myself to x-ray them then rewire them. My results speak for themselves. I’ve been coding and running for the past 6 months straight. And my skills are compounding in the form of good habits.
David Goggins is a mind fuck. He is living proof of a very nasty reality: it just comes down to grit, determination, and a willingness to die to become who you want to be in life. He’s the backstop for anyone who makes excuses about why they can’t. There’s no secrets to his work, it’s primal caveman knuckle dragging. It may sound obvious — and that’s because it is.
The takeaway I found most insightful is that motivation doesn’t work because it’s temporary. Eventually the thing that motivates you fades away whether it be an inspirational movie, speech, or desire. What persists is drive. What drives you to go through great suffering? Goggins reveals that we all have scars, darkness, things we don’t want to remember. Many from our childhood. Some of us don’t like where life has taken us. He challenges you to dig up all the ugliest memories that left the deepest scars. Use those dark rooms as your fuel when you’re faced with suffering.
One lesson that I’ve applied is his 40% rule. He postulates that most of us stop at 40%. That’s when the mind starts creeping in to convince you that you’re done. He provides steps to overcome it in the book. I’ve been running these hills. Each loop has a giant hill. My body is accustomed to running 2 of these hills. Sure enough, I put my head down and got through 5 of those hills. I pushed myself to the point where I could feel my heart beating differently on the 5th hill. 3 days ago I ran 11 miles. The most I ran prior to that was around four. Today, I ran a five mile loop that ended in a continuous 1 mile vertical climb. The scariest thing about this run is I prepped my mind for the hell that was to come one that final uphill mile but as I feel myself slowly gaining control of my mind those quitting thoughts are easier to bat away. I finished the run without ever going through true suffering. Things that I thought were borderline crazy had within the span of weeks become metaphorical old dusty trophies I keep in a box in the basement of my mind. I know I’ve got them, but I don’t stare at them because my eyes are fixated on what’s next.
One of my biggest fears has been drowning. There’s no panic like holding your breath underwater past the point where your brain is telling you “I can’t breathe”. Since Goggins was a Navy SEAL who sank like a rock, I was amazed by his stories. They sounded impossible, except for the fact that I understood the blueprint he was using to achieve what sounded superhuman.
I knew it was a complete mind fuck because pinching my nose I could hold my breath for a minute but the moment my head is underwater that time shrivels down to 0:20 seconds, pathetic. Slowly through repetition my time climbed until I hit 0:45 seconds. But it still bothered me because by that time I was able to hold my breath above water for 1:30 minutes. This was truly facing my fears. It’s one thing to tell yourself you’re not gonna quit. It’s another when you’re staring fear in the face.
Then I had my first breakthrough: 1:07 minutes. Breaking the minute mark felt amazing. Then I repeated it 2 more times in that same session. I owned 1 minute now. But I plateaued there for a week. I couldn’t break past ~1:05 minutes. Each time I got to that stage my mind got the best of me. Then two days ago I dunked my head underwater. And I went somewhere else in my mind. I don’t fully recall the events of the moment but I notched 1:27, a huge improvement. Seemingly out of nowhere.
Thinking back on it, I recall all the normal stages. The discomfort of water going up my nostrils. The split seconds where fear creeps into the foreground. I don’t remember what I told myself but I remember my mind swatting away those thoughts for the first time.
STACKING: ATOMIC HABITS + CAN’T HURT ME
Atomic Habits gets the ball rolling. Can’t Hurt Me will take your habits to another level. Car analogy, Atomic Habits makes sure your engine is always topped off with fuel while Can’t Hurt Me is the NOS sitting in your trunk waiting to be unleashed. These two books have been a game changer and I’ve never considered the power of stacking books together to create a closed loop where I max out. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for change, looking for more out of life, looking to get out of a rut. There’s a lot more inside of us than we can imagine. Go find your limit then realize that it’s all in your head.
